You gotta get up and try, again and again.

Tonight's post, is to a friend of mine. Or rather, a brother, is how I see him. I won't mention names, but I just hope that you know that there are people out there(like me) who genuinely care, and that no matter what happens, I'll always be here for you. 

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You've read the books, you've watched all the shows, what's the best way, no one really knows. You keep wondering what went wrong, how it all turned into lies, but sometimes I think it's better if you don't know why. You lie on the same bed, but it just feels a little bit bigger now. When you hear your songs play on the radio...but it no longer sounds the same. When your friends talk about her now, all that it does is tear you down. And your heart breaks a little every time you hear her name. 

You can't stand being close to anybody anymore. You feel as though the world's weight is on your shoulders. You wanna leave, you wanna go, but you don't know where to. You feel as if no one understands you, and it's true, because what you feel could never be reflected in someone else. You keep wondering how you got into this situation, and you can't seem to get her off your mind. But nobody said this was easy, did they? Love has no lessons. After all, we're only human. There's no reason why we wanna stay in a place where's filled with both good and bad when we have the ability to just go. You feel as though you keep hurting instead of healing, and you keep finding of a way to convince yourself to let go, but some part...some other part deep down in you keeps trying to hold on of what's left between you two.

You try to hate her, you try to be mad, but you can't stay mad. You keep thinking of ways to ease this, to escape from thinking of all these, but it's only because escaping is the easier way. 

You feel as though its your fault. But then again, you think it isn't. You think that your pride, your ego, your selfish ways caused a good strong woman to walk out of your life, and you feel as though you can never make up for the mess you made. You feel like a mess and you feel as though you're never good enough. And when the days get long enough, or the nights get cold enough, you start to shiver and the memories start to haunt you again. Day and night, it's like a cycle. You feel as though you're no longer you. 

The memories keep haunting you. Places, people, laughter, love. Everything. Every thing feels as though they're against you, and every single thing, even shitting or pee-ing reminds you of her. You don't know what to do. You wanna stay strong, and everyone keeps telling you the same bullshit, but you know it's easier said than done. 

 

Bro.....Sigh. It hurts. You may not know, but it hurts the people around you to see you as sad as you are right now. The pain in your eyes. The smile that never touches or twinkles your eyes anymore. Nothing. You feel like a zombie and you think you'll never feel again. 

I was like you once. And I can't say that the pain you feel right now is the same as what I felt. But the best things in life, is when you let go of something so beautifully painful, and then watch as you evolve and change into a whole new person. You start to appreciate all the little things, and yeah, the first love is always the hardest, but in life...you gotta meet a few more bitches before you find one...

You should stop blaming yourself. Nobody's right or wrong in relationships. Love is not selfish, love is kind. And love is everything that drives the world crazy. And you may not know it now, but someone out there, she's waiting for you. The same crazy girl that probably loves cards and has crazy sweaty palms and who's as kidd-ily childish and cute and loving as you. And I've told you everything that I have to...But now the ball's in your court. It's just what you decide to do with your life. You may feel confused now..but give yourself some time. Be patient. It's barely been a month of two months, and I promise you'll get better. It'd still hurt...but it'll be better. A broken heart's always the hardest to get past. 

And to anyone whose reading this: 

I'm a girl. And I confess. A girl's brain is screwed up. To the maximum. We know what we want and at the same time we don't. We say things we don't mean but mean at the same time. We think about everything, all the bullshit and the future and the past it all goes through our brain at one time. Every single month, there'll be that one period of time where millions of emotions runs through us and one second we're happy the other we're sad as shit. So yeah, it's pretty messed up and sometimes I grow crazy with my own brain thinking wtf am I thinking honestly but that's just the way we're made. 

And I apologise on the behalf of all women who have been really indecisive or emotional, but really, you can't blame us. But that's one thing I stand for all girls, WE FEEL. A LOT. We feel more intensely and deeply than any other creatures on Earth. That's for damn sure. 

 

So bro...I'll always be here. All the bullshit you wanna tell me, I'll always be here :) Hahahah and annoy the crap out of you too till you get better. And you know what they say....

"When God closes a door for you, he opens a brighter and better one for you" And it always gets better. Life always do, no matter how much bullcrap shit it puts you through. You'll get through this, we'll get through this together. 

Stay strong, love you xxx

 

 

 

Florence Lee

Florence Lee

Amour Infinito ∞
Did I mention how absolutely how eccentric I can get?
Oh, and people call me Flo (:

I believe that love's the strongest thing in this world, and that true love does exist. We just gotta find it. And I think I already did.

& Someday, I'm gonna be living in Paris.

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