July.

The second half of the year has officially commenced. Mid-terms are over, and school's gonna start again tomorrow, tediously. Sigh, and somehow I'm still in this "after-exams, holiday begins" mood. Promos is gonna be in 3 months, and in which these three months are also crucial for us to finish up all the written report, interviews, A-level MT Oral etc, plus revise for psychotic Promos. Sigh, there's never gonna be enough time for myself to indulge in my favourite things or spend time with all of my favourite people. Not even the year-end holidays, no. 

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Its really easy to give up during these times. So much to give in too, so many temptations, so little time. Its so easy to just let yourself in over to the darkness and let go, and give up. Giving up is that easy, and every single day, I'm fighting it. Persevering, holding on. Studying is just so hard. So hard to master and the drive and focus is hard to master, just so hard to...get hold of. And once its there, it's barely there for a few moments, and then its gone once more. It doesn't stay, doesn't linger, it just slips away. 

There are honestly so many things I'm afraid of. So afraid that I might screw something up and then I might end up screwing up my life, y'knw. I've always been raised with the mindset that studying and being able to be independent and earn lotsa money is crucial in life. And that...if that part of your life fails, honestly, have you ever wondered what you're gonna do with your life? 

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So I'm gonna say this for all the people who are tired and honestly lost, and some on the brink of giving up, and others barely holding on: 

FEAR IS A LIAR. Giving up is easy, but if you give up, what are you really gonna do after that? Life is a constant race, and you're always gonna be in this race. If you're running in this race, fighting for that one thing at the finishing line, yes, sometimes you might slow down and take a break, other times you might feel like "oh shit it's still so far away, and i can't make it" and you feel like you wanna give up, but in your heart, you know how badly you can't, because of all the effort you've put in before this, how far you've come and you're already somewhere in the middle of it, almost reaching, and you honestly can't give up. So you push on, hoping for strength to pull through. And you will. 

Don't let fear become a part of you. Its natural to be afraid, natural to be frightful for something, for the consequences or outcome, but let it make you stronger, not become your baggage. You're afraid of that one thing, because you want it bad enough. The more fearful you are for it, it shows how much more you want it. It makes you scared and not want to do it cause you're afraid you're incapable of it but truth is, you're strong enough for it, you just gotta believe. Believe in yourself, hang in there. It'll make you stronger, so much more. And it can really get you really far. Hold on. A little bit longer, and you'll be fine. 

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They say that life is a two-way street, when you're not sure, you gotta trust your feet. Sometimes I really feel that life is so hard. All I want is to love right, live right. I just wanna be happy and lead a really peaceful and happy life with all of my loved ones, but apparently you gotta fight for these things in reality and you need to have riches to build your happiness on top of that. 

I wanna live by the sea one day. I will. With a little white cottage, with a paranormal view of the sea, the sunrise and the sunset. The blue blue sky, the birds flying over and the sound of the wave crashing onto the shore. The kids building sandcastles by the beach, so peaceful, so quiet. I'd be holding a book with my husband's arms around me, and we'd be sitting by the window, watching the kids, the view, talking about a further part of the future. We'd look into each other's eyes and know that everything's right, just right and that we love each other too much to admit that. And when night falls, the moon'd shine down with the lights playing shadows on the water, twinkling stars in the sky. I'd be walking along the shoreline with my man, hand-in-hand, enjoying the wind, the view and perhaps we'd skinny-dip and then take a long walk back home to bed. Heh, but this part of the future's still far away. But I'd have it....someday. 

Darling, I know it's gonna get harder and harder and I know you feel like giving up but I'm always gonna be here. And I hope you feel my sincerity and know how much you mean to me. And know that I believe in you with all the faith I have in me, and I'm sure you can do it. Its just a matter of time. You just need a little push and have a little faith. Hold on, for everything that you've been fighting for, okay? Afterall, you're my wonderwall. 

With love,

xoxo.

Florence Lee

Florence Lee

Amour Infinito ∞
Did I mention how absolutely how eccentric I can get?
Oh, and people call me Flo (:

I believe that love's the strongest thing in this world, and that true love does exist. We just gotta find it. And I think I already did.

& Someday, I'm gonna be living in Paris.

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