January
The end of another week. And now, we're left with one last week of January. Time really does fly. I think that I'm gonna be flipping my calendars faster than I'm flipping through my notes this year.
School hasn't been all that great. Well, it has been, for one, now that I'm finally set on what to do and everything and am revising more on my own and actually spending more time on my studies now. But you know what sucks the most? Sigh, knowing that I spend 15 hours every week travelling to and fro school. It really sucks to know that out of 24 hours a day, and regarding the fact that 12 hours per day are spent on sleeping etc, so in actual fact I spend two days out of every week travelling to and fro school ugh this really sucks.
Well, January's coming to an end. I haven't seen B in a few weeks now and I miss him like crazy. A's is in 284 days according to this girl in my class whose already counting down. Well, to think about it, the days are really limited though. And even though there's still over a hundred days left, it's actually a really short period of time. Another 8 months or so....I'm out of here. Out of school and I'm gonna be doing everything that I love. I thought about it you know? Haha I've been thinking about what to do with my life after A's on the long train rides back home and I have thought of several:
1. I'm gonna be a model. HAHA. (I know how this cues snickers and cold laughters from you guys haha but I think that it's gonna be a really good experience to try and I hope that I can find a job with some famous blogshop, or with my own blogshop and experience what it's like to be a model. Honestly, I've been wanting to be one since I was young but I never thought it'd be possible.)
2. Work at a yogurt/bookstall/stationary shop. Omg I know that this is lame but somehow I think that it'll be a really nice experience for me as I actually enjoying doing these things(I think, if I'm working there) and I think that I'd really enjoy my job and not whine about it because I'm in the place that I wanna be in. Heh.
3. Work at a childcare centre. This has always been my dream. Sigh. To actually get to work with little kids and I get to take care of them and all that. This would totally be a dream come true and a strike off my bucket list god I'd never quit my job even for school for that matter if I ever get one haha
4. Learn how to cook/bake etc. This is a sooner or later thing....but honestly guys, I really suck at cooking haha. I mean, I cook good food, but that's limited to only me myself and I and in all the years I have dated B I have never cooked once for him and that bitch keeps complaining heheheh I still love you okay B xxx But yeah, I really wanna learn those complicated and really cool recipes so that I can cook for B and also for my future experience hehe and survival skills. I can cook only things that I like to eat for myself now, I mean I really love cooking as much as I love food DUH. Haha but I don't think that I'm capable enough yet to cook for a whole group of people haha. Oh and I really really wanna learn how to bake but my house's oven always seems to be spoiled FOREVA
5. Spend more time with my loved ones and books.
I'm gonna try to read as many books as possible, I even thought of trying to read all the fiction books in a library once but due to lack of time....BUT I WILL TRY. After A's. Heh, I'm gonna read all kinds of book and get so deep that people would love my writing. I honestly think that writing is the best thing on Earth. And the way that sentences can translate into many different meanings, honestly, I think that it's a really interesting thing. I honestly can't explain my love for books/notebooks/stationaries/letters, basically stories and words. Haha, everything consisting of that is a total LOVE.
And I wish that me and B can have more vacations or even one for ourselves, haha. And yup, I really wanna be adventurous and everything whilst I'm still young and still have all parts of my body and bones.
6. Last but not least...start a blogshop.
Heh, me and B have thought about this for ages!!!! And I would really love it if we would start from scratch and just build our own little business from start and then see our blogshop take off :) Of course, we must first learn the mechanisms of starting up a business, particularly a blogshop, but I believe that we can do it!!! This is honestly the one thing that I anticipate most!
Well...so, January has been good so far. In its many ways that it's tough, I'm glad that I'm almost done with it, and that I've gotten through it. It isn't all rainbows, but what is life without a little rain or thunderstorm? Sigh. But at least I think that, despite the fact that many times in school I feel rather alone, or am alone in my mind, I've done more thinking and I have been more focused on myself and my studies and I think that that's a really good thing to happen to me. Haha. I just need the motivation and bam.
//And in many ways, despite the fact that me and B are now both busy in our own worlds and we hardly get to meet and everything like we used to, I think that the best thing about us is that no matter how busy, or how ugly or beautiful our day gets everyday, we talk about it and we listen. And we'd think of many crazy things to say to each other and then I'd dream about all the things, hah. I really miss you B. Sigh, and I don't know if you'll be reading this but life's really hard. It isn't hard to the point where you can no longer survive, but it's tough...because we're both going through different phases and learning new things and meeting new people and that's what makes it tough because each new step we take is like walking into a strange new world.
And I know that giving up seems to be the most favourable way and I have thought about it tons of times too, but then I thought that it only seems to be the most favourable way because it's the easiest way out. I know that we'll get through this, like we always do. We just gotta remember why we held on for so long in the first place and the promises we made. And all we gotta do...is have a little faith, and everything will be okay.
I may noy be the prettiest, or the smartest or the most understanding girlfriend in the world. And I may not have riches, or have fame, or have glamourous things or have a pretty face or have a hot body. And I know that I may not have many things to be proud of or to be praised about, and I may not have the most friends in the world or have the kindest heart of all, but I know that I have you. And despite of all these things and bullshit, I still have you. And I think that that's the most important thing to me. People may talk about me, people may like me, people may hate me, but what's most important is that I have you. And I prize you above all these things because you mean that much to me.
Have a great weekends, y'all. Heh, everyone's exams/tests are just around the corner so mug hard people! I've found my determination and faith amongst happiness, depressing, confusing times. And I'm sure that you'd fine yours too, you just gotta believe.
xoxo