I must be an idiot
I swear I've never been good at keeping friends. Well, relatively. I've made lots and lots of friends, but they're mostly just "by-passers" you know? Like those friends you say hi and bye to a lot, and make little conversation with. And after awhile, all of these fades away, and all that's left is that you smile or wince at each other whenever you see one another to try to avoid some form of awkwardness that has somehow build up right there. And then, after awhile, even that goes away, all that's left is avoiding, it's like when you see that one particular person you used to know, you avoid them as though they were an atomic bomb or they have some contagious disease or you dart even faster then you've taken a breath. Haha, i know it sound exaggerating, but at least this is how it is for me. I can't deal with awkwardness, and I'm more of a...suffer in silence kind of person.
So, my holidays so far has been pretty...productive(???) If your definition of productivity is hogging the laptop and watching tv shows all day long being a big fat potato couch / reading lots and lots of romance novels that even your own emotions start to doubt your own relationship about whether it is true love(pffffft i know right) / going down to the market to help your parents sell vegetables and lure customers in with your face(HAHA this part is just me my mind sometimes exaggerates) / going out with your boyfriend more than you should / being allergic to books since the holidays started, yup, that's pretty much damn productive. Haha. Its been about....two weeks since the holidays started(?) Or more or less, I couldn't care. I just care that December is approaching fast....ITS THIS SATURDAY, and I know somehow that my holidays are coming to an end and the moment it hits December, I need to mug my ass off again because I have less than twelve months to the big exam and to do lots of things and try to be a better person again for the new year(yeah yeah still hoping that I can fulfill this wish to the fullest honestly, I have failed too many times)
So I wanted to post some photos of daddy and mommy's birthday celebration but my brother took all of the photos out of the camera, leaving me dry with only words for this post. Haha.
Anyway, I'm sure you're all familiar with this saga. Heh.I swear I've been reading too much Twilight lately. I read three books of this saga within three days and today is the fourth day and I'm already three quarters through the fourth book. Haha. Well, I've always been an avid reader of the saga, I'm not really a fan of how the story goes, but more of the love between Edward and Bella. Actually, I kinda admire it. I admire the writer even more, because if she had the capability of writing out such strong and....just...there aren't any words that can describe the love Edward has for Bella, but its just beyond anything, beyond words.
So, Breaking Dawn Part II is currently in the theatres, and I can't believe I've been able to put off not watching it the moment it came out. This is B's fault, because we promised each other we would watch it together no matter what, and the only time he's free is during this Saturday which is when we're gonna watch it!!! I'm so excited, ooh and we're having this photoshoot with Hidayat for his project hehehe time to take some pretty photos :) I've always loved these couples photoshoot thingy and this Saturday would be a first! I actually wanted one with B before but he wanted to leave all the photography stuff till we get married....which is like forever. Haha.
So anyway, my mission today is to try to convince all you Twilight saga haters out there to rethink your stand. I mean, the story is not that bad, except for New Moon omg it was totally boring and I swear I only woke up at the part where Edward came back to the movie haha but that's not the point. The point is that this whole...saga..more of the love, has had me going at re-thinking of my stand for love.
If you've read the book a million times like I had, and each time I understood better what the book was driving at, Stephanie Meyer was not trying to emphasise on the love between supernatural beings that wasn't possible in reality, (that was just a factor that appealed to the market and readers cause what's more interesting that sexy hot vampires and an eight pac werewolf whose hot as hell fighting over a human?) But yes, though that was the focus of all four books, if you read carefully though, the one thing she was driving at was the love. How strong and unbreakable love was and how, even as bombastic and crazy that it sounds, even that kind of strong and unbreakable could exist between supernatural beings.
And I've realised that all four of her books described Edward and Bella's love as somehow..more than what it seems. Although yes, they had sex and had a hybrid baby, but more to that, in her book however, no matter how much Edward wanted to have sex with Bella(no pun intended), his love for her was stronger than that need and that seems to be something that's worth admiring.
Because besides his need for blood**(I put the stars cuz it seems more dramatic but this is high up in the vampire list), but viewing in the perspective of reality, sex is somewhat a need to a human in certain forms other than food and oxygen and water, so even love can conquer that area of need for sex, which shows how powerful and strong that love was. And also, if you guys noticed that Edward said that he'd rather lose the baby but he never ever is willing to lose Bella, this shows another kind of love, one's that endless because in reality our parents would tend to love us more sometimes than our parents,( haha like my dad ok kidding actually I don't really know this part but yeah you get the point). I HOPE I CONVINCED YOU BY THIS POINT BY SIGH I'M NOT EVEN TRYING HARD ENOUGH HEH
So I think that Stephenie Meyer is really really good at writing all these love novels because they're really good and they made me think twice on what I have in my love life, and to be honest...I stared to doubt a little cause it seems that it wasn't perfect enough and you know how it is:
"I think what messes us up the most is that we all have this perfect picture in our minds of how things are supposed to be."
And I think that the love that was depicted in the books somehow make me feel that it was perfect because it feeds me and satisfies me and honestly, I would love to have it because it's exactly what I want, the kind of love that I want, hence I'd think what I have now is not enough ): And I almost caused a fight with B because of this HAHAH and he still doesnt know its because of this cuz he'll keeeel me. But yeah, haha. (P.S. Till now I still have doubts hehehehe)
But I'm sure this is just a phase. I always have this problem of being too attached or immersed in the books or stories that I'm reading. I'm finishing the whole saga soon, so I'll have to find new books to read ): Heh. Oh well.
And for now....ending with a little thing about life,
Till next time, xoxo
P.S. If you haven't listened to the 8track playlist from my previous post, do and you won't regret, promise. Its been on repeat for me for days now, its so good.





