Funny how the heart can be deceiving
They say that crying heals your soul. But I think that sometimes...sometimes crying doesn't relieve anything.
The month of February is coming to an end soon. And I haven't accomplished much things in my life, to be honest. Not in the studies aspect, or my relationship or in netball. Honestly, I have no idea what I've been doing for the past two months of this year besides thinking about what I wanna do whenever I have free time. Bad habit, yeah I know. Especially for a kiddo whose taking her A's in about 8 months or less.
Sigh. I know this post doesn't look anything like the picture update I promised about New Year and everything, but...soon. It's a Friday night and today has been shite so I just wanted to blog..about something, anything just to feel better..
I wonder what I really want sometimes. Honestly. My humanity, my hormones, my women-are-meant-to-make-men-suffer brain, my partially honest-deceiving heart, is really killing me. Screwing so many things up. Sigh. One moment I'm like this, the next I'm just...fickle. So fickle-minded I can't even decide. Let alone me wanting someone else to understand me, like B. I bet he feels like crap each time I'm like that but I can't help it. I honestly don't know how to change it and all I can say is that I'm sorry.
But I know what I want, I know that I want someone who loves me like...like crazy. Someone who can knows me inside out and I don't know. I want a love that is passionate and strong and unyielding and just..epic. But I guess nothing is ever perfect.
But I'll leave you with this.
I'm in love with you, and I'm not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things. I'm in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we're all doomed and that there will come a day where all our labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only Earth we'll ever have, and I am in love with you.
There are twenty-four ribs that supposedly protect your heart from damage, but I swear you know the precise location of each 4cm gap, know how to nick the arteries and slip into my circulation, virtually undetected until the x-rays show you lighting my body up like a christmas tree.
I just thought you ought to know and remember this. Epic love, eh?